Over the past two years writing this blog I have noticed trends in my own writing style. Sometimes I struggle to find things to talk about write a load of guff, or I make a feature of my lack of inspiration like this one. A more regular theme though is to start off saying something like “I was really looking forward to this one….” before going on to talk about what a disappointment it was, or conversely (and less regularly) I talk about how disgusting something looked before declaring it a hit see here.
For this weeks offering I was about to head down the “positive turning to disappointment route” but as I started typing I couldn’t bring myself to lie. These prawn cocktail mousse shots were so horrible that no matter how hard I tried, I couldn’t muster up the necessary positivity to make the old device work.
The quote from Heston plastered across the top of the packet reads “Prawn cocktail is my secret vice – and as a mousse flavoured with vodka, vanilla and celery salt topped with tomato butter, it’ll soon be yours too. Comes in shot glasses to really get the party started”. I’m tempted to rephrase that last bit to read “Get the party started with these you’re likely to get glassed or shot”.
The first thing you taste is the tomato butter; it was grossly acidic, overly sweet, grainy and greasy. The closest flavour match is tomato ketchup, but only if tomato ketchup was 100% horrid. Once you get beyond the butter you get to the mousse itself and things didn’t get any better. The mousse tasted of 80% vanilla, 19.6% acidic flavoured fake tomato and 0.4% of prawn. If there was celery salt and vodka in there, then it was wasted as it wasn’t something you could detect. There were little bits of ground up prawn in amongst the mush, but you wouldn’t know it was prawn if you hadn’t read the packet, a stab in the dark might have lead you to think it was fish of some kind but that’s as far as you’d get. Strangely enough these little pots do smell of Marie Rose sauce, but there’s no such luck when it comes to flavour.
To add insult to injury a packet of eight of these horrors in a shot glass costs £6.99. If I wanted to spend the best part of £7 on some horrid food I could buy 10 packets of Ainsley Harriott cous cous and feed myself for a week. I dread to think of all the dinner parties being ruined over Christmas and New Year where people think they have treated their guests to a Heston delight, only to discover they have bought poisonous pots of repugnant mush. Let this blog be your saviour – tell everyone at risk of buying them to rethink their plans, you could just save their Christmas.
Heston from Waitrose Prawn Cocktail Mousse Shots £6.99 for eight shots (mine were reduced to £5.15 which is about £5.15 too much)
0.5/10 (edited from a misguided 2/10 18th December)