Maria Sharapova is a Russian lady, she’s famous for being beautiful and rich and for having boyfriends – at least that’s what Google would you have you believe. Type her name into Google and if you move past her official website, instagram and Twitter accounts you can see a lot of pictures of her looking fabulous in a bikini and lots of articles about her wealth and beauty. I clicked a link to an article in the Telegraph and learnt that she has a boyfriend who bought her a lot of roses, this boyfriend incidentally plays tennis, but the article neglected to mention what Maria does.
Being led by the internet, it appeared that the most important thing to do was look at pictures showing how sexy she was, so I did that. Handily Google categorised the images for me to help me further understand what was most important and looking from left to right I can exclusively reveal that this is the order they were in: 1st, Esquire magazine (lots of bikini photos); 2nd, Sports Illustrated – interesting maybe this beautiful lady has something to do with sport but the photos were all bikini shots; 3rd, Grigor Dimitrov – this is her boyfriend and the next category by which to define her; 4th, Tennis – it seems that as well as wearing a bikini and having a boyfriend she also plays tennis; 5th, Height – a vital topic and presumably only in 5th place because the photos show Maria in high heels rather than a bikini; 6th, Wimbledon – a pattern is emerging it looks as though there’s more to Maria than first meets the eye and it seems that beauty, wealth and boyfriends aren’t the whole story and Maria is actually the sixth best female tennis player in the world. Who knew?
Facetiousness aside it is alarming how the greatest achievements of one of the worlds best sports women are side stepped to focus on looks and boyfriends. Even when you dig a little deeper the articles start to talk about wealth and how she has been the highest paid female athlete in the world for the past ten years. I am not criticising this success, in fact that success is why I am writing this blog as Maria runs a side line in sweets under the brand Sugarpova. A portion of the profits from Sugarpova goes to the Maria Sharapova Foundation which is aimed at “… helping children across the world achieve their dreams.” which is a pretty noble endeavour.
Sugarpova have a range of products including gummy sweets and chewing gum. I have a selection of chewing gum tennis balls called the sporty mix. They look great fun and are a mix of lurid colours and e numbers, the attention to detail on the tennis ball look is pretty good too. I picked one up and got ready for a chew but was taken by surprise at the level of resistance the chewing balls had against my teeth – they were rock hard and took a fair bit of saliva before they yielded into a gummy chew. The packet suggested that they were fruit flavoured but this feels like a stretch as they just tasted sugary sweet which quickly waned to leave a flavourless rubbery lump in my mouth, like eating an elastic band. I persevered working my through a blue one, a green one, a yellow one and an orange one but they all had exactly the same effect and if fruit had been anywhere near this packet I’d be very surprised.
So whilst the media ignores Maria’s sporting achievements I can’t ignore the fact that her chewing gum is horrible. It may be helping children achieve their dreams but it’s only helping me achieve a diagnosis of diabetes and despite what the packet may claim this is far from the “taste of victory”.
Maria Sharapova Bubblegum Balls $4.99 for a bag + $.30 tax + shipping = total cost of not worth bothering with.